When a dream comes true!

All this while you work hard, trying everything possible to inch closer to that one thing you have always dreamed about …that one thing you have always passionately wanted. Every day, you get up with the eyes set on that one thing, you figure out how everything you alter in yourself may help you to get what you want …reach your destination. It is a constant battle to get better from your earlier self, and it is not easy.

You always imagine how it will feel to finally achieve it …to finally be able to relax and take everything easy. The thought is so satisfying. You want to sit down, take a minute off, enjoy and feel everything around you. But you don’t have time for that …there is always that rush to prove yourself, not only to the world but to your own self. You are constantly running, to reach the finish line.

And you fail in the process. There are so many obstacles in the path that there are days when you want to just let go …give it up! But you fight …you continuously fight. Because you want it that bad! Because it is everything you have always wanted.

Then what happens when one fine day, you actually get it! Yes, you have it. You have achieved it. You have reached where you wanted to. You have made it to the finish line in time. For a minute you are numb, you just don’t know what to do, how to react …because there are just way too many emotions in your mind. You are ecstatic, and insanely relieved, you are proud, and you are confused …confused about what you will do the next day! You did not realize it when you were chasing it, that you have gotten tired …very tired. And now you need rest. A peaceful sleep where you don’t have to worry what tomorrow might bring.

Suddenly you have everyone’s attention …obviously because you have achieved something significant. People who had doubted your potential, are all praises …the congratulatory messages don’t stop. So now you get that long-pending attention. Well, that’s how it is. But you don’t really care actually; you are way too engrossed in getting over the fact that you have nailed it! And nailed it bad!

The people who matter to you have never left your side, they have never waited for any proof to have their faith in you …but you are now glad that you made them feel great. Their happiness is what matters in the end. Everything starts falling in place; it is like you have solved a mystery and now you know all the answers. Everything becomes clearer, merrier and easier. 

But this is not the end, just the beginning. You have to start your run again, this time not to prove yourself, but to develop what you have. As they say, it is a cycle: one thing leads to another; one dream gives birth to another. But the very first dream turning into reality gives you an opportunity to dream again. Dream bigger! Because you know if you can do it once, you can certainly do it again!

One Year just went by. Or did it?

With a lot of expectations, and dreams in mind, when I left home last year, it was my Big Step into the real world. Yes, Real world. I emphasize on the word “Real” because as much as we claim that we can survive the hardships in life, unless and until you are out there alone and fighting it yourself, you really cannot say much. You can only claim. So all this while, when at Home, how could I be alone? There was a shield of care, warmth and love, and I really did not know how it would be without the most awesome people by my side.

I was only excited, rather than worried...That goes with my image of a “Strong Girl”. Isn’t it? But really, excited to live each day as it comes, to see how it feels like to be out of your comfort zone, without knowing anyone around. It was like starting from the scratch …making new bonds and lasting relationships. And obviously, a lot goes into that: time, and attention.

Like always, my Mom had to make sure I am “deported” systematically, so she had to come to drop me off. Like obviously. You cannot do much about it. She has always been like this …the over protective one! And later complaints how I am always dependent on her …like come on! You spoon feed me all the time Momma! My sister came too. She never accepts it, but she gets worried for me too …like come on! I am the elder one, I feel otherwise so many times. So it really didn’t strike me that I will be left alone till the day these guys went back. And then it hit me! Whoa! Hello Priyanka!

I may be making it quite a big deal now. Was I pretty chilled out back then? Maybe. But what I see when I look back today, is someone who could not imagine the idea of spending a weekend by herself or having a meal alone, forget living alone. I have come a long way. Well everyone evolves. Eventually. But then is it that big a deal? Some may prefer not to even think about it, that’s how insignificant it is for them! While the others, like me, can write an entire blog post about the “Evolution”. Everyone has their own way. 

I hear people saying how time just flew by. We just did not realize, and it was already a year. I use the quote myself sometimes. But to think about it, I realize it did not just fly by …it never does …it happened. I lived every day, I experienced everything, all the laughter …smile …feel-good-factor …love …hatred …anger … lasted their due amount, before I labelled it as memories: pleasant or otherwise. I stuck up on days, on the sad & weird things, I laughed for months on the same old jokes, I cried on the silliest of things. So it did not really just vanish into thin air, but I made all that appear so …because we battle it out …like a Boss! So time passes at its usual pace, we associate differently with different things. It is always “US” …wow! So almost a year now, and there are days when I feel how different everything has become and how I want to run back …only to realize this is a stage in Life, and like everyone else I have to manage it. Well, it is not that big a deal. Everyone else seems to do just fine. I am getting better. Oh yes! All happy experiences in the end! The happy-ending type. Woot!

My college and the people I met played quite a role to make me feel that the time just “flew by” …because unless and until you are not comfortable around people and are not yourself, how will your mind be at ease? How are you supposed to be content? Or learn well? Or just develop yourself? But then not all of them are the ones you like …there are a few faces you cannot stand, a few you wish to punch hard, or a few you just feel pity on! But in the end, you learn. You get to see the variety God has created! 

I am an independent person today. Almost. And it will not be very difficult the next time. Or the time after that. The first time is always the toughest, and the most memorable. In almost everything. And once you survive the first retard moving-out phase, the others follow. And feel like a cakewalk. I can say that because presently I am struggling with another city: my second – Cochin. But I am glad the first one was that exciting, that new, that “Manipal-y”!! :)