With a lot of expectations, and dreams in mind, when I left
home last year, it was my Big Step into the real world. Yes, Real world. I
emphasize on the word “Real” because as much as we claim that we can survive
the hardships in life, unless and until you are out there alone and fighting it
yourself, you really cannot say much. You can only claim. So all this while,
when at Home, how could I be alone? There was a shield of care, warmth and
love, and I really did not know how it would be without the most awesome people
by my side.
I was only excited, rather than worried...That goes with my
image of a “Strong Girl”. Isn’t it? But really, excited to live each day as it
comes, to see how it feels like to be out of your comfort zone, without knowing
anyone around. It was like starting from the scratch …making new bonds and
lasting relationships. And obviously, a lot goes into that: time, and
attention.
Like always, my Mom had to make sure I am “deported”
systematically, so she had to come to drop me off. Like obviously. You cannot
do much about it. She has always been like this …the over protective one! And
later complaints how I am always dependent on her …like come on! You spoon feed
me all the time Momma! My sister came too. She never accepts it, but she gets
worried for me too …like come on! I am the elder one, I feel otherwise so many
times. So it really didn’t strike me that I will be left alone till the day
these guys went back. And then it hit me! Whoa! Hello Priyanka!
I may be making it quite a big deal now. Was I pretty
chilled out back then? Maybe. But what I see when I look back today, is someone
who could not imagine the idea of spending a weekend by herself or having a meal
alone, forget living alone. I have come a long way. Well everyone evolves. Eventually.
But then is it that big a deal? Some may prefer not to even think about it,
that’s how insignificant it is for them! While the others, like me, can write
an entire blog post about the “Evolution”. Everyone has their own way.
I hear people saying how time just flew by. We just did not
realize, and it was already a year. I use the quote myself sometimes. But to
think about it, I realize it did not just fly by …it never does …it happened. I
lived every day, I experienced everything, all the laughter …smile …feel-good-factor
…love …hatred …anger … lasted their due amount, before I labelled it as
memories: pleasant or otherwise. I stuck up on days, on the sad & weird
things, I laughed for months on the same old jokes, I cried on the silliest of
things. So it did not really just vanish into thin air, but I made all that
appear so …because we battle it out …like a Boss! So time passes at its usual pace,
we associate differently with different things. It is always “US” …wow! So almost
a year now, and there are days when I feel how different everything has become
and how I want to run back …only to realize this is a stage in Life, and like
everyone else I have to manage it. Well, it is not that big a deal. Everyone else
seems to do just fine. I am getting better. Oh yes! All happy experiences in
the end! The happy-ending type. Woot!
My college and the people I met played quite a role to make
me feel that the time just “flew by” …because unless and until you are not
comfortable around people and are not yourself, how will your mind be at ease? How
are you supposed to be content? Or learn well? Or just develop yourself? But then
not all of them are the ones you like …there are a few faces you cannot stand,
a few you wish to punch hard, or a few you just feel pity on! But in the end,
you learn. You get to see the variety God has created!
I am an independent person today. Almost. And it will not be
very difficult the next time. Or the time after that. The first time is always
the toughest, and the most memorable. In almost everything. And once you
survive the first retard moving-out phase, the others follow. And feel like a
cakewalk. I can say that because presently I am struggling with another city:
my second – Cochin. But I am glad the first one was that exciting, that new,
that “Manipal-y”!! :)
No comments:
Post a Comment