When we say Goodbye …it won’t be for long!

Everyone has their favorite set of people; the people they like hanging out with, those they like talking to. Because they understand you just they way you want to be understood.  I also have one such set. And among the lot, there is this girl I am best friends with. For years now. Eighteen odd years actually (not taking into consideration the years when we didn’t talk because of a silly fight.)

So she was like this care taker I had when we were in school, right from tying my shoe laces, to helping me comb my hair, opening my Tiffin box, to helping me with the art classes. Man! She had this amazing art side to her; she probably still has; quite neglected though. Living together through all those years in kindergarten, school and high school, we never realized that we were actually building something strong, very strong.

I particularly remember the many years when she was my Valentine, until we grew old enough to have our respective boyfriends. We used to go for our own romantic walks on the 14^th of Feb, and given the fact that I had a tom boyish look, she was still judged for hanging out so shamelessly with a guy. Haha!

And then there were those after school talks, long serious talks on the not so serious issues. But all that was a very big deal back then; who is talking to whom, who said what to the other, who really thinks great of herself, who has a crush on whom, and who is secretly dating? We used to plainly stand there … bitching about the bitches.

Years went by, a lot changed, our equation didn’t. It is still the same, almost. We didn’t lose out on the fun part, irrespective of how serious life has become. And why should we miss out on that crazy part? At least someone has to bring that into our lives, most of the times our friends do. I wont say what we have is a thing others cannot. They do. Maybe far better than us. But I am thankful that even I managed to. Yes.

A lot will change in the coming months. Complexities of life I tell you. But what remains is the fact that she has risen from a ‘diary entry’ in my first diary to a ‘blog post’ on my blog, in these years; making it clear that what a little First grade girl felt for her Bestie back then has only got deeper with time. And I don’t know what life has in store for the two of us, I am sure she will still call me up to discuss the politics at her workplace, and I will be seeking her help to stabilize my love life. She will still act as a counselor,  and that guiding light(Roshini) ! and obviously, our children will be best friends and boast about how their moms still manage to have that endless laughter on the stupidest of things!

When we say Goodbye, it wont be for long!

Hachi!!

They are written about so much, that I don’t know what new do I have to add on to that list? But I want to write, not about them in general, but about the one I have. My Labrador.  My Hachi. Our Hachi.
I cannot know for sure, which moment made me the happiest, whether it was when I had him in my arms for the first time, made him sleep with me on that first night, or the first time he licked my face. It is hard to decide. And then I realize he makes me happy every single day. From that morning hug, to the afternoon nap, to the evening stroll, to the late night tantrums, he is everywhere. I’m not complaining.

Yes, a dog is a man’s best friend. And all that. But more than that, he is your teacher. You may think I am funny. I sound so stupid. But facts remain. Hachi has taught me a lot. Not only about myself, but about life at large.

He barks when we fight at home, showing his anger maybe. Wants us to stop and make peace. Thereby telling us if He can understand this, why can’t we? Human beings are expected to be more intelligent. Aren’t we?
He hides his face when he’s getting a scolding, tries to escape the things that make him unhappy. Ignore what gives you unhappiness is the lesson, I reckon.

I come back home, after a long tiring day, what is the least that he can do? Jump around and greet me with nasty licks everywhere. And he does this every single time we enter. Love your loved ones. Endlessly. Care about them in whatsoever way you can. The smallest of smallest gestures mean the most sometimes.

I can go on and on about how special he is. I’m not bragging. Really. Sometimes I feel he understands everything I say. And he does give me an occasional nod at times. It may mean nothing but it gives me a certain confidence to go ahead with things. I may sound like an obsessed dog lover, but well, that is me.

It feels forever that I have him around, but I still can’t get enough of him. I guess I never will. Mainly because he has so much to offer.  Every day is a new story, a sweet one. How I wish I could know how he feels, exactly what he thinks, maybe answer the many questions he has, or clear out his confusions. All that seems like a distant probability of course.

But for what it is worth, have one in your lives. And you will never regret it. Their innocence, their love, their warmth, and all the fun and laughter they bring along, cannot be compared to anything else. Nothing. It is an experience. You live through it.

Here’s to the good times I have had! Here’s to Hachi!

How Little do We know God!

So they say a just dip in The Ganges and all your sins are washed, you make up for all the wrong doings, how they forget it is not the dip that makes a difference, it is what you actually do; your deeds that make way for the kind of after life you get : Heaven or Hell. I am one of those who believe that both exist, Heaven and Hell. And yes, God exists too. Obviously.

But what does He actually want from us? To worship him day in and out, to fast insanely to get our wishes fulfilled, to chant those Mantras every single day, because only that will bring you happiness and good luck.  People believe that by lightening incense stick in front of His idol every single morning will please him like nothing else. Maybe they have their reasons for it. I am not saying they are wrong. I only feel they are shallow.

Of course there is a Superpower, more knowledgeable than we are, more giving than humans can ever be. But He doesn’t have demands from us. He has a few expectations though, not expecting us to light a lamp in front of Him, but to light up our minds; towards being tolerant and forgiving.  We pray to be pardoned for our sins, we want to be forgiven. Let us start by being forgiving ourselves. Let us start by being considerate ourselves. Only then should we expect the same to happen to us.

Then there are those who don’t believe in Him, rational souls right. I don’t understand how they cannot have that faith, but maybe they see His presence in different things: their work, passion or maybe family. They will gradually get there, where we others are. They will know just what we know. How little we know. Eventually.

The whole God thing may just be a little over rated but Indians are sensitive beings. You cannot eat meat and enter a temple; you cannot sit in the Poojas or perform other Holy rituals if you are a Lady and having that time of the month. Also you shouldn’t drink on certain selective days (Tuesdays or Saturdays perhaps), like it will make a difference, you are drunk on the remaining days as it is. What are these? Silly age old things we are abiding by without any rhyme or reason. Our elders tell us and we are obedient. Haa!

It is that time where we are moving forward in almost every sphere. Or I am being positive that we are. Let us stick to it. And so it is time to let go those things which don’t make sense to you, let go those things which you half heartedly do only to please your parents, because God is in you, He is in those good things you do, in those smiles that you give to others, in the happiness you spread.

Break free of those myths; yes it is difficult, given that you have lived through them. But then we can always try to expand the horizon, and maybe we will get to know Him better.

And let me meet all of you in Heaven, sometime soon!

Taking away her Childhood.

There she was, sitting inside a car, in a peach salwar kurta, taking care of a baby. She appeared to be such an expert, doing everything with such ease, it was hard to believe. Even the mother wouldn’t have been so great with her own child. How can she be? She has other important things to do. Yes.

This girl was playing a role she was not expected to, so early in life. So what if she herself was a baby inside, so what if she still had those “Barbie Doll” dreams, so what if she still wanted someone to look after her!  She was poor and her parents wanted her to work, she was only being an obedient daughter.

My heart aches every time I see children working. It is sad enough to see them struggle to get the basic amenities, but to see their childhood being taken away and how! What must be her thoughts, as she sits in those cars, and goes to those expensive restaurants with their “malkins”, or attends those high society kitty parties and goes shopping in the malls? She dreams. Dreams that are not so easy to achieve, dreams that will break sooner or later, and hurt her bad! But what other option does she have? Children dream, don’t they?

So how do we protect her from the pain she feels when she can’t conquer her dreams? I think we cannot. As long as she is amongst those birds with huge wings, she would want to fly.

What if the mother did take a little responsibility of her baby, would that free the little girl too, not really. She will be pushed to do something else, something equally charming to the eye, equally disturbing to her soul. I wouldn’t know exactly what it takes to be among those under privileged ones, for I have my wishes fulfilled in no time, and dreams become reality just as easy. But to be in her place and be greedy for the love and attention is unimaginable.

Seeing her that day was a very insignificant thing, for the most of us, who really has the time to wonder about her life, we are all stuck so badly in ours. But the thought triggered so many questions. Questions I have no answers to. Questions that will remain. Only if I could reach out to her, make her sit close to me, give her a candy and listen her talk, talk about her dreams …talk about how she will reach out to them one day!

Every child has a right to those childhood memories; try to be the provider to as many as you can. It will make the child in you happy!

Be Special.

He stood out among the others. Looked twenty-four, but had that heart of a ten year old. I don’t know why I sat behind him, though our seats were on the other side of the hall. A conspiracy maybe.  And I saw him, seated between his parents, his Dad had that broad smile of pride, Mom had none. Something about that family made me observe them, yes he was physically and mentally different, special actually, at least he had that care free smile which many of us fail to showcase in a lifetime. But there was more, a certain bond between the three.

The guy didn’t appear to suffocate by the overdose of love, like many of us will. We have an image to protect outside, don’t we? He laughed, he smiled and he chuckled. Yes, he was enjoying those old Hindi songs. And with every smile that he had, his Dad’s hand reached his mom from behind his chair and they had that silent stare at their special son.

Yes, it touched me. It would have touched anyone. And brought tears, but they weren’t tears of pity but tears of a different kind of joy that I felt seeing them. Obviously it isn’t easy to raise a son like him, but they didn’t show it. For them it was like any other thing, the daily, the usual. Every time one of his favorites was played, he would hug his dad and the man would kiss him in turn. Pure.

Nothing has touched me like this in a long long time. The way they were one united group, a close knit family, it made me think how long it had been that I sat together with my family, hand in hand. A while now. Maybe because we are too busy being “not special”. Being just the “normal ones.”

I know he was only one of them, one of the many others, some get the love they deserve, some don’t. Some get their due share or more, some struggle. But what it made me realize is how mediocre we are in front of them. How much we are missing in life.

I hope he continues to live, continues to be loved by his parents, and continues to inspire many others, like me, to live, in the truest way. Smile a lot. Hug your parents while you still can. And express your love.  Be special!!