One Day!

Everything is so simple when you are young. Like, there are no complications in anything. Whatever you know makes sense. You are not expected to have all the answers. But then, there are a few things that don’t make sense. And you always wonder. Wonder what is happening, why it is happening.

But before you know it …you begin to get the answers. And they are not any close to what you had expected. Nowhere close. You may not even find it pleasant in the first place …like “That’s so weird!”, “Does it really have to be this way?”, but then that is life. The unpleasantness may be more pronounced for girls. We are really the unique ones. Let us just say so.

Periods. Menstrual Flow. Chumming. Down. And a dozen other ways to express the process. The coded words that should not be easily decoded by the males, or else panic strikes! Because we have always been told to be very discreet about the whole thing. I really don’t understand why. What is to hide? What is to be ashamed of? It is a natural process. And you can just not shy away from it.

The Society thinks otherwise. The Indian Society actually. To talk about something like this is totally unacceptable. We may go out of our way to prove how modern we are, how open we have become, but the fact is that we have not broadened our thinking as much as we think we have. We are still stuck. Stuck at these taboos …which don’t make sense. And not even trying to get rid of them.

So when the little girl sees those drops of blood for the very first time, she has no clue what has happened. Maybe thinks it is an injury or a disease she has gotten. She rushes to her mom, only to learn how it happens when you grow up, and how it is very normal for a girl. But then she hears “You mustn’t discuss this with anyone.” “It is not a thing to talk about.” “It shouldn’t be told to your friends.” “Your father shouldn’t know about this.” “Be careful.” The girl is perplexed. Only now she was told that it is a very normal thing. Then why the secrecy?

 But she doesn’t questions. She lets her confusions be. It is already too much to take in. and it feels different. She wonders what else is in store for her. Only to realize there are a lot of things she had never imagined. “No, it doesn’t happen to the guys.” Why not, she asks. “Because that is how God has created us.” That’s all? Educate her. Give her the scientific reasons. Make it easy for her. Please.

Moms cannot be blamed. This is what they were told when it was their first time. Probably. But this girl is different. She is looking for answers. It is time we understand that Periods is not a crisis situation. It is as natural as brushing your teeth every morning, or maybe as special as going out for an expensive dinner date once a month. It depends on how you perceive it to be. But let me tell you, it is no sin. It is no extra ordinary event. So please try to calm down. If at all you come to know about one of your friends chumming, you don’t have to giggle and exclaim! You don’t have to start the “Hoos!” and the “Haas!” it is only normal.

It is about time when we break away from the age old customs too. Earlier, the girls who had their menstrual cycle were not allowed to enter kitchens, or be a part of religious ceremonies. Even to begin to understand why they had such norms is beyond me! But then the ladies suffered …treated like untouchables for those few days. Crap. But now though the situations have gotten better, the weird things are still practiced in places. The very educated families, the very independent women, highly bold girls, are all party to such behavior. And I really don’t know why. All this education for nothing? As they day, there is that very thin line between literacy and education. These people make me realize how we’re only focusing on the “literacy” aspect in our lives.

The whole idea of writing this piece was not to attract unnecessary attention. But to awaken your minds …to help you reach a place … where Periods is not that big a deal; where men are aware about when their wives/sisters are down; where the boyfriend bears with the girlfriend’s mood swings; where the brother can go and buy tampons/sanitary napkins for his mother/sister; where the TV channels showing Whisper/Stayfree advertisements need not be changed awkwardly; where females don’t have to hide the fact that they bought sanitary napkins

But to reach such a state requires us to speak up. Educate our children. Do not shy away from giving the details and answering everything they need to know. Be an example for others. Because dodging the questions of your daughter will not make it easy for her, answering them will. That One Day will change her life, be sure you make it worth it. 

(also featured in www.menstrupedia.com)