Spread those extra Smiles!

Yes, the picture almost describes me.

I believe that there is enough sadness around; everyone has some issues in their lives. So why increase this sadness quotient? Instead, What I have been doing for a long long time now is, spreading happiness. At least trying to.

They tease me, make fun of me, we crack jokes on each other, we act dumb, we act crazy, I fight with them and abuse them all the time, or maybe just show signs of appreciating whatever they do for me …In all those things, I see those smiles … The smiles on the faces because of me, maybe only for a minute or two, and that gives me a weird sense of satisfaction.  Yeah, I am doing my job right.

I have my dull days, but I try to showcase my hyper self, and in the process I end up forgetting about my own crap for a while! It is all about how you interact with people and how much difference you bring by your presence in their lives. It doesn't matter if the person is your maid, the person who serves you food, or for that matter anyone whom you just pass by day in and day out. A smile is all that the world wants! And you don’t know how one pleasant gesture ends up cheering up the other person.

This trend that I follow has made life easier and the world, a happier place. You can solve a few problems; you cannot do anything about the others. Thinking about it all the time doesn't make life any better.  So why do it?

Let us all try to spread smiles! You get to live once, do it in style! J

Against Cigarettes, towards Good Health!

Cigarette. The word creeps me out. And many others, I believe. I have come across people now and again who have such a crazy fascination for the same. I don’t actually judge them, it is their wish and their life after all. But I don’t appreciate it either.

All these years I have seen people be victimized by smoking and seen them struggle trying to quit it. But in vain. They say it is insanely difficult to get rid of the mania. I don’t argue. When you succumb to the wishes of a thing as trivial as a roll of paper filled with tobacco, when you give it such importance, you are going wrong somewhere. Definitely.

Time and again I have been in a counselor's shoes, motivating my friends to quit smoking, explaining to them the gravity of this ugly thing, and repeatedly I have been told that “This one is the last!” But I still do it again, I have that capability to bug people, till they listen to me. Or at least give my say a thought.

We all know how important a healthy mind is, it not only nourishes the thoughts we have, also gives across that sparkling smile and that lustrous personality! But with every cigarette people lit, a sparkle is lost, a day of their lives is in danger. What we need to know is that the days are not getting any longer, what we have is fixed, why not make the most of it?

And then after years, I did meet a person who succumbed to my want, rather than the cigarette’s. And it feels amazingly nice to win like this. I may sound silly, but it feels great when you can make such a difference to a person’s life. You brighten up their life, you feel wanted! I saw him struggle, saw him anxious, saw him battle it out. Obviously it isn't easy, though he made it look so. He did tumble a few times, did go wrong and had his bad days, but he emerged! And how!

I see him today, without that urge to smoke, and it makes me feel good. So good. Also, what I reckon is that what smokers need is the ‘wish’, internal and external, which can help them overcome their weakness. Most of them don’t really know why they started smoking in the first place, some found it cool, some were in a bad company, and some just used it as an anti-depressant. Unimportant reasons! And now they think it is too late to let it go. But it is never too late. You just need someone.

I have often told him how great a thing he has done! But I have never gone all out and praised him, so let this be one way to let him know, how he has stood out from ‘others’, and how he has made me so proud! And let this also be a way to let others know that chucking out a cigarette from their lives is achievable. Yes!! 

Hello, Change!

It feels unreal how in a night everything changes. And that is exactly what happened with me. One night, I was cribbing and complaining how I have a monotonous life and the next morning everything changed. For good, I believe.
So this is my first blog post, from out of my comfort zone. From out of Nagpur. And how different things have gotten. Right from waking up to a new hostel room, to standing in queues to get my meals, to struggling to wash clothes on my own. A 360 degree change. Well obviously I am still in the process to adapt to all this. And I will reach there eventually.

Manipal, a beautiful city just a few kilometers from Udupi, in Karnataka. So green, so fresh, so breezy! And the rains you have here! I have not explored all of it, but from what I have seen and come across, I am pretty sure I will be able to make the most of this break from Nagpur’s heat.

And the new people I have met here, from so many different spheres. I now understand this is the exposure, people kept telling me about. Yes, I miss Home. And nothing can replace any of that. But this is such a big step towards being everything I ever wanted to be. So I will live it up!

It seems a little scary at times, when you don’t have anyone around to seek guidance from, or anyone whom you can just run to with all your problems. But there is support from those loved ones, irrespective of how far we are from each other. And sometimes just those few special texts, the perfect timing calls, make up for everything. It is too early to miss Home, I keep telling myself. The journey has just begun.

What I intend to do when I am here is affect people’s lives for good. “Know” them and let them know me. A give and take relationship perhaps. Give and take the smiles, the joy, and the happiness!

Obviously nothing can replace Nagpur, all Manipal can do is help me get what I have always dreamed of! And in style!

Till then, this Change is beautiful.

I will tell him about a Phoenix.

It is strange how we have been taught about the “stepping stones to success” thing. When it is actually far from reality. Very far. In our real, non-magical lives, there comes a point when we have been through so many lows that we forget how it feels to experience a high!

Yes, I have been having a rough patch lately. Maybe that’s why this pessimism. But actually, it isn’t about the pessimistic thoughts, it is the real ones! I feel. We tend to dream a lot, and in all that we forget to keep a check on reality. Trust me, give it a check occasionally. Every now and then.  So that you are sure that you are not losing it.

We all have dreams, and we know we have the capability to achieve them. But what when those dreams break? Theoretically, we have to gather ourselves up and move forward. Try again perhaps. But is it really so easy? I’m afraid not.
Dreams break. And for a moment you don’t know what to do next. As a loved one felt, you are blank. There is that inability to think for a while. That initial state of shock and acute disappointment. And the fear of facing everyone...You let down your close ones, obviously.

I know how terrible it feels to have the lows for quite sometime; Hoping against hope that tomorrow will be better. But every day brings the same disappointment. Almost the same.

But then we’ve read about those great philosophies of how “the darkest hour is only sixty minutes” and how “good things take time”. All these thoughts (the positive ones) keep driving me. And needless to say, the support of a few loved ones too.
But what happens when your supporters break? That is one big mess. Trust me! Because now you have to forget your miseries and be there for them. Role reversal. Difficult.

Just like I had one a few months back, he had a tough day today. Calling it tough may be an understatement though. A four year long dream broke. It sucks, doesn’t it? I’m trying to be there for him. But man! He was so much better in this role. Way better. I don’t know how he managed to handle me back then. Uhh! He is good. Anyway I obviously know that he won’t be okay overnight (though I hope he is) but I want his smile back. It is precious for me. And yeah, I will do everything possible to get that back.

I will tell him about a Phoenix maybe. How it is a long living bird, which rises from the ashes. We may be down in the gutters right now, but tables turn and things change. And all this hard work that we have put in will never go waste (another thing I have been taught). So our time will also come. When we’ll rise and shine, above all this. It may take time …but we’ll get there. Eventually.

Things may look unclear right now but there is that voice inside that I hear which doesn’t let me give up. Oh wait! Maybe it is his voice …because he is the most optimistic guy I know. And I won’t let that change. J

When we say Goodbye …it won’t be for long!

Everyone has their favorite set of people; the people they like hanging out with, those they like talking to. Because they understand you just they way you want to be understood.  I also have one such set. And among the lot, there is this girl I am best friends with. For years now. Eighteen odd years actually (not taking into consideration the years when we didn’t talk because of a silly fight.)

So she was like this care taker I had when we were in school, right from tying my shoe laces, to helping me comb my hair, opening my Tiffin box, to helping me with the art classes. Man! She had this amazing art side to her; she probably still has; quite neglected though. Living together through all those years in kindergarten, school and high school, we never realized that we were actually building something strong, very strong.

I particularly remember the many years when she was my Valentine, until we grew old enough to have our respective boyfriends. We used to go for our own romantic walks on the 14^th of Feb, and given the fact that I had a tom boyish look, she was still judged for hanging out so shamelessly with a guy. Haha!

And then there were those after school talks, long serious talks on the not so serious issues. But all that was a very big deal back then; who is talking to whom, who said what to the other, who really thinks great of herself, who has a crush on whom, and who is secretly dating? We used to plainly stand there … bitching about the bitches.

Years went by, a lot changed, our equation didn’t. It is still the same, almost. We didn’t lose out on the fun part, irrespective of how serious life has become. And why should we miss out on that crazy part? At least someone has to bring that into our lives, most of the times our friends do. I wont say what we have is a thing others cannot. They do. Maybe far better than us. But I am thankful that even I managed to. Yes.

A lot will change in the coming months. Complexities of life I tell you. But what remains is the fact that she has risen from a ‘diary entry’ in my first diary to a ‘blog post’ on my blog, in these years; making it clear that what a little First grade girl felt for her Bestie back then has only got deeper with time. And I don’t know what life has in store for the two of us, I am sure she will still call me up to discuss the politics at her workplace, and I will be seeking her help to stabilize my love life. She will still act as a counselor,  and that guiding light(Roshini) ! and obviously, our children will be best friends and boast about how their moms still manage to have that endless laughter on the stupidest of things!

When we say Goodbye, it wont be for long!

Hachi!!

They are written about so much, that I don’t know what new do I have to add on to that list? But I want to write, not about them in general, but about the one I have. My Labrador.  My Hachi. Our Hachi.
I cannot know for sure, which moment made me the happiest, whether it was when I had him in my arms for the first time, made him sleep with me on that first night, or the first time he licked my face. It is hard to decide. And then I realize he makes me happy every single day. From that morning hug, to the afternoon nap, to the evening stroll, to the late night tantrums, he is everywhere. I’m not complaining.

Yes, a dog is a man’s best friend. And all that. But more than that, he is your teacher. You may think I am funny. I sound so stupid. But facts remain. Hachi has taught me a lot. Not only about myself, but about life at large.

He barks when we fight at home, showing his anger maybe. Wants us to stop and make peace. Thereby telling us if He can understand this, why can’t we? Human beings are expected to be more intelligent. Aren’t we?
He hides his face when he’s getting a scolding, tries to escape the things that make him unhappy. Ignore what gives you unhappiness is the lesson, I reckon.

I come back home, after a long tiring day, what is the least that he can do? Jump around and greet me with nasty licks everywhere. And he does this every single time we enter. Love your loved ones. Endlessly. Care about them in whatsoever way you can. The smallest of smallest gestures mean the most sometimes.

I can go on and on about how special he is. I’m not bragging. Really. Sometimes I feel he understands everything I say. And he does give me an occasional nod at times. It may mean nothing but it gives me a certain confidence to go ahead with things. I may sound like an obsessed dog lover, but well, that is me.

It feels forever that I have him around, but I still can’t get enough of him. I guess I never will. Mainly because he has so much to offer.  Every day is a new story, a sweet one. How I wish I could know how he feels, exactly what he thinks, maybe answer the many questions he has, or clear out his confusions. All that seems like a distant probability of course.

But for what it is worth, have one in your lives. And you will never regret it. Their innocence, their love, their warmth, and all the fun and laughter they bring along, cannot be compared to anything else. Nothing. It is an experience. You live through it.

Here’s to the good times I have had! Here’s to Hachi!

How Little do We know God!

So they say a just dip in The Ganges and all your sins are washed, you make up for all the wrong doings, how they forget it is not the dip that makes a difference, it is what you actually do; your deeds that make way for the kind of after life you get : Heaven or Hell. I am one of those who believe that both exist, Heaven and Hell. And yes, God exists too. Obviously.

But what does He actually want from us? To worship him day in and out, to fast insanely to get our wishes fulfilled, to chant those Mantras every single day, because only that will bring you happiness and good luck.  People believe that by lightening incense stick in front of His idol every single morning will please him like nothing else. Maybe they have their reasons for it. I am not saying they are wrong. I only feel they are shallow.

Of course there is a Superpower, more knowledgeable than we are, more giving than humans can ever be. But He doesn’t have demands from us. He has a few expectations though, not expecting us to light a lamp in front of Him, but to light up our minds; towards being tolerant and forgiving.  We pray to be pardoned for our sins, we want to be forgiven. Let us start by being forgiving ourselves. Let us start by being considerate ourselves. Only then should we expect the same to happen to us.

Then there are those who don’t believe in Him, rational souls right. I don’t understand how they cannot have that faith, but maybe they see His presence in different things: their work, passion or maybe family. They will gradually get there, where we others are. They will know just what we know. How little we know. Eventually.

The whole God thing may just be a little over rated but Indians are sensitive beings. You cannot eat meat and enter a temple; you cannot sit in the Poojas or perform other Holy rituals if you are a Lady and having that time of the month. Also you shouldn’t drink on certain selective days (Tuesdays or Saturdays perhaps), like it will make a difference, you are drunk on the remaining days as it is. What are these? Silly age old things we are abiding by without any rhyme or reason. Our elders tell us and we are obedient. Haa!

It is that time where we are moving forward in almost every sphere. Or I am being positive that we are. Let us stick to it. And so it is time to let go those things which don’t make sense to you, let go those things which you half heartedly do only to please your parents, because God is in you, He is in those good things you do, in those smiles that you give to others, in the happiness you spread.

Break free of those myths; yes it is difficult, given that you have lived through them. But then we can always try to expand the horizon, and maybe we will get to know Him better.

And let me meet all of you in Heaven, sometime soon!

Taking away her Childhood.

There she was, sitting inside a car, in a peach salwar kurta, taking care of a baby. She appeared to be such an expert, doing everything with such ease, it was hard to believe. Even the mother wouldn’t have been so great with her own child. How can she be? She has other important things to do. Yes.

This girl was playing a role she was not expected to, so early in life. So what if she herself was a baby inside, so what if she still had those “Barbie Doll” dreams, so what if she still wanted someone to look after her!  She was poor and her parents wanted her to work, she was only being an obedient daughter.

My heart aches every time I see children working. It is sad enough to see them struggle to get the basic amenities, but to see their childhood being taken away and how! What must be her thoughts, as she sits in those cars, and goes to those expensive restaurants with their “malkins”, or attends those high society kitty parties and goes shopping in the malls? She dreams. Dreams that are not so easy to achieve, dreams that will break sooner or later, and hurt her bad! But what other option does she have? Children dream, don’t they?

So how do we protect her from the pain she feels when she can’t conquer her dreams? I think we cannot. As long as she is amongst those birds with huge wings, she would want to fly.

What if the mother did take a little responsibility of her baby, would that free the little girl too, not really. She will be pushed to do something else, something equally charming to the eye, equally disturbing to her soul. I wouldn’t know exactly what it takes to be among those under privileged ones, for I have my wishes fulfilled in no time, and dreams become reality just as easy. But to be in her place and be greedy for the love and attention is unimaginable.

Seeing her that day was a very insignificant thing, for the most of us, who really has the time to wonder about her life, we are all stuck so badly in ours. But the thought triggered so many questions. Questions I have no answers to. Questions that will remain. Only if I could reach out to her, make her sit close to me, give her a candy and listen her talk, talk about her dreams …talk about how she will reach out to them one day!

Every child has a right to those childhood memories; try to be the provider to as many as you can. It will make the child in you happy!

Be Special.

He stood out among the others. Looked twenty-four, but had that heart of a ten year old. I don’t know why I sat behind him, though our seats were on the other side of the hall. A conspiracy maybe.  And I saw him, seated between his parents, his Dad had that broad smile of pride, Mom had none. Something about that family made me observe them, yes he was physically and mentally different, special actually, at least he had that care free smile which many of us fail to showcase in a lifetime. But there was more, a certain bond between the three.

The guy didn’t appear to suffocate by the overdose of love, like many of us will. We have an image to protect outside, don’t we? He laughed, he smiled and he chuckled. Yes, he was enjoying those old Hindi songs. And with every smile that he had, his Dad’s hand reached his mom from behind his chair and they had that silent stare at their special son.

Yes, it touched me. It would have touched anyone. And brought tears, but they weren’t tears of pity but tears of a different kind of joy that I felt seeing them. Obviously it isn’t easy to raise a son like him, but they didn’t show it. For them it was like any other thing, the daily, the usual. Every time one of his favorites was played, he would hug his dad and the man would kiss him in turn. Pure.

Nothing has touched me like this in a long long time. The way they were one united group, a close knit family, it made me think how long it had been that I sat together with my family, hand in hand. A while now. Maybe because we are too busy being “not special”. Being just the “normal ones.”

I know he was only one of them, one of the many others, some get the love they deserve, some don’t. Some get their due share or more, some struggle. But what it made me realize is how mediocre we are in front of them. How much we are missing in life.

I hope he continues to live, continues to be loved by his parents, and continues to inspire many others, like me, to live, in the truest way. Smile a lot. Hug your parents while you still can. And express your love.  Be special!!